A Portrait in Blue

The softest of melodies through perfection of movement is caught,
A feast for eyes
A journey of emotions painted with the utmost precision
Sweeps, twirls, lifts, steps
The Blessing of Water heavy in the air, a dance in the sea
Solid ground beneath lithe feet, yet with every lift eternal suspension
Gentleness personified, intimacy shedding its veil, displaying its secrets to naked eyes, famished eyes devouring all they behold
A beauty forgotten
A portrait in blue rediscovering the light.
_______________________________________________

March 28, 2010
Damascus
(Inspired by a ballet i saw at Dar Al Opera)

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I

Craving the comfort of a choice
rendered cheap – valueless.
A treasure for I,
incomprehensible to others.

In light stumbling, trails of blood
defaming ignorant walls,
seeping slowly painting trails,
mountains, rivers, oceans
bringing consciousness momentarily
to a soulless being.

The canvas expanding moving
with only pity for awakening the
walls with its red, it’s red of numb
sorrow, upon its bare being.

But continuing its
journey without pause, its
ongoing creation’s the sole
witness’s to the journey of I.

_____________________________________

June 12, 2010
Damascus

A Wake Up Call

About two months ago my dad comes home with last minute tickets to an opera concert, and we decide to go check it out.

It was a typical week day nothing out of the ordinary, just another day re-lived in routine. Woke up, went to work, came home, and had dinner. So the tickets came at the perfect time, something to break this silenced living. So we get dressed, and get in the car, arriving around half an hour early, get our tickets, and walk into the concert hall.

It was refreshing seeing all these people and I was surprised by the age groups there, most were very young, not what I was expecting. It felt good. We took our seats, chatted a bit, and the lights dimmed signaling the start.

The stage lights go on, illuminating the orchestra all sitting up straight with there instruments held in the ready, and four singers walk out. Two females and two males. All of whom sit down, except for one of the woman who stands in front of a mic, positioning the music folder she was carrying at an angle at which she can comfortable follow the music not hindering her performance. The music started, and she started singing. It was nice and different, she finishes her song, bows as she is applauded, turns then sits down in her seat.

Now the second woman stands up, and the music starts……but this time when she opens her mouth to sing and i hear her voice…for no reason I can explain, I felt my body ‘wake up’ and shudder… and as she continues to sing moving into a harmonized accapella, tears start forming in my eyes and falling. I could not control them, nor stop them. I silently sat there, with tears pouring down my face, sitting in between my parents, and quietly trying to calm myself down, slowly trying to wipe my tears away without letting anyone notice. Her voice was beautiful, and with every note she sang, the tears kept on coming.

I could not stay still for long, so in the dark with only the echoes of the stage lights, I took out my little black book, and started to write…
__________________________________________________
A possessed soul unaware of a numbness, so sly,
that has taken over what once was un-diminishing passion.

The music so unexpected,
A reaction unforeseen;
Streaming tears of an awakening.
A rush of emotions reclaiming what was thought to have been forgotten.
The ears barely able to collect the sounds; expanding, straining…then shivering with an
Unending anticipation.

The draining of a slow death that almost had its way…

________________________________________________________________________

February 9, 2008
Dar Al Opera – Damascus
8:45 PM

2har… Baddi yakoun tshoufoua…

T3bit min l naas, t3bit min yali hwalyeh.
Keef badkoun yani ma 2in2iher, keef badkoun yani ma 2t3ab o ma 2z3al, o ma 2bki.
Ana yalai dam3ty sarla sneen nshfaneh, sarla sneen mnsyeh, ana yali kanit bakity sarkha ma fi mina raha 2o fashit khl2.
Keef ma badkoun yani 2hki o fish albi, min 2aher ma 2lo hal, a3ma.
Ana mani 2awyeh, o dam3t 2m gharybeh btjrahni o btsrou2 l dam3 min 3youni.
Keef ma badkoun yani 2n2hr 3al 3am ymouto, 3ala ahalyoun yali raht rouh min 2dayon, nsara2 nafas bl ghaseb, o b lahzt ghadab, 2tlou ba3doun, o 3am y2tlou ba3doun, bala rafit rmish 2o lahza ta yfakrou bsho 3am y3mlo.
L 2atil mish hal, l 2atil ma hay zabit yali rah o yali 3am yseer. Ma hay raj3 rouh la jasad baarad, wala walad la hdn 2mo. Dammar, hayda hoy yali bykhla2o.
Ma ba3rif loum 2lah 3ala samto ama 2nsan 3ala ghaba2o.

Lk sho’l hal tywa2f l dam!

Fear

I lay here
surrendering to the pain caused by loneliness matured

My chest heavy with a weight old in being
Old of time which has passed
static in its existence in its unyielding nature

Time time time, continuous, infinite

when will this change
this horrid feeling of vulnerability be free of its self,
for a chance to shed the skins of sorrow scarred

Caged and ignored for so long
a cold monster created
unleashed without warning hurting those in sight
emptying out a tangle of frustrated emotions on victims innocent, unaware of the why behind the anger and bitterness expressed

The thirst to quench the desire of another
consuming my every fiber, my mind, and my soul

I need… I need…

…but for the fear I have of I
the fear of Myself
and what you can do to me…

And so here I am,
still where I’ve always been

____________________________
May 2011

“Take My Breath Away” – a cliche craving with a flavoring of I

I want my breath to be stolen away
ripped
pulled with strength shattering the dry ice on my chest,
to be clutched in talons sharp that soar so high then without warning dive straight down where my heart forgets to beat,
where yesterday, tomorrow, & today are forgotten

I want my breath kept on the edge of release,
teasing my mind for the dizzying seconds of an end come without warning.

Conversation with self – Let go & live*

You’re infected with all the powers of dreams seen in times of consumed waiting
of time lost unending
Falling waves of storms creeping slowly consuming lives of souls confused
wills gone
Sculpted casts of bodies in prayer
faith not there but a set of rituals followed
playing a game a set game
following the path of the illusion of faith
Let go let go let go
let reason coerce its way with your will and dreams and life and see how fulfillment will take over
Throw away the detailed laws of cultures long mutated into ‘beings’ unrecognizable
Let go let go let go of anger at things out of hand
let your self move on
let your mind free
let it roam and explore the darkness in you
let it know its self
let it bask in its light and help its fears away
allow it the means to heal itself to know itself
Break your mind free of the physical tangible and Become free
Intoxicate your being with conscience awareness of yourself
Smile, laugh, cry, hurt, need another
Let go let go let go and live

———————————–
*unedited stream of thoughts