Bittersweet Farewell

I can no longer be another statistic in your life
Another girl who’s fallen for you and who you have walked away from

Another name on a list of forgotten faces

You tell me your issues are too real too present too consuming
I tell you
you can have whatever you chose to want,
you can make your own choices regardless of the past

But you are not ready you say
I say you are not interested
I say you have used a situation for momentary comfort
I say you never asked me about my stories when I’ve heard all of yours

How dare you freak out about a first that is mine?
In this you have no right
For this is not your story to freak out about,
it’s my story
it’s my first
it’s my reaction that should count and not yours

I don’t want to be in the shadows and the grey areas anymore
I want you to be consumed by thoughts of me
I want the random calls and messages that are springed by your remembrance of me
I want your eyes to never get enough of looking at me, your hands never satisfied from touching me, and your thirst for my lips never quenched

This is what it should be like should you want me
Not a passing thought during the day
Or a stray craving for comfort

I want you possessed by my smell
And enchanted with my movement
And I need to feel it, know it, and never question it
To annihilate the confusion out of my mind and replace it with certainty

And for me to tell you this…
For me to spell out the state that we should be in…
Well love, that’s the biggest tell that what we have is not real for you
And that’s the sign for me to leave you now

O, there will be pain at memories relived
But with time it will mellow
And I’ll look back with a bitter sweet smile,
for I will deal and come through again

Goodbye love, and
Fare you well…

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